How Do You Measure Success?
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Author: By ADD Coach Jennifer Koretsky I had a conversation with my client "Linda" the other day. She was
in "crisis mode" and very upset with herself. She set a goal for
herself the day before to be on time for everything, all day long.
She woke up early, and left for work early. She made it to all her
meetings on time. Although it was really difficult, she left work on
time, and she even managed to make it to her evening doctor's
appointment on time.
However, she got caught up on the phone with her sister later that
night, and the next thing she knew, she was running behind schedule!
She was 10 minutes late beginning her bedtime routine of journaling
and washing up, and she was 5 minutes late to bed.
Linda was mad at herself. She had done so much hard work throughout
the day to be on time, and then she carelessly lost track of time and
ruined her "perfectly on-time day."
I know Linda very well, as I've been coaching her a long time. I
couldn't help but giggle at the end of Linda's story because it was
so familiar. "Linda, do you know what you just did?" I asked.
At that point, she giggled, too. "Yes, I guess I just realized it,"
she answered. "I held myself to unrealistic expectations, and I
didn't give myself credit for the successes."
Bingo! There were so many successes in Linda's day! And yet she was
choosing to focus on the one thing that didn't go as planned.
"And what happens when you hold yourself to unrealistic
expectations?" I asked.
"I get really mad at myself for not being perfect," she answered
sheepishly.
"And what happens when you try to be "perfect"?" I continued.
"I get annoyed. I throw my hands in the air and give up. I don't
end up giving myself credit for what I did right." She knew where
this was going.
"And what happens when you don't give yourself credit for what you
did right?" I pursued.
"I waste my time beating myself up over stupid things instead of
building on my successes!" Linda knew this stuff, she just needed to
be reminded, as we all do sometimes.
"You know," she offered. "When I step back and think about it, I did
an amazing job yesterday. I almost never get to work on time, and
yet I did. I'm always the one running into meetings late and
disheveled, and yet I was there in my seat with my pen and paper out
for both my meetings! And I didn't have to apologize to my doctor
for being late and holding him up.
"So what that I went to bed 5 minutes late!" she continued. "I did a
damn good job, and I need to remember that instead of beating myself
up for every little thing!"
We all need to remember that.
So how do you measure success when it comes to managing ADD? In
small pieces. Acknowledge everything you do right.
You'll notice that when you do, your mood improves, your motivation
increases, and you have more opportunities to sharpen your skills and
reach higher levels.
Make life all about success.
About the Author:
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps
adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She encourages
clients to increase self-awareness, focus on strengths and talents,
and create realistic action plans. She offers a 90-day intensive
skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has
been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times
Magazine and The Times (UK). To subscribe to Jennifer's free email
newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit
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