"Losing Enthusiasm for Your Dream?
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Author: Cathy Goodwin You're ready to move: start a new business, change jobs,
change locations.
You made the decision. But three months later, you're
wondering, "Did I make a big mistake?" We tell ourselves
not to expect a "happy ever after" ending...but let's face
it: that's what most of us want!
So here are five tips to reconnect with your dream.
1. Review your reasons for moving, changing jobs and/or
starting a business.
Are you moving for "a lower cost of living" or "to be closer
to family?"
Clients who move for these reasons tend to call about a year
after they make a change. They're not enjoying their new
lives, they say. They spend hundreds (or thousands) of
dollars to escape on weekends and take long, long vacations.
And often (though not always) families find they get along
better with more miles between them.
Clients who realize they're following someone else's dream
tend to be the most frustrated. Maybe your mentor wanted you
to follow her footsteps or your family always saw you as a
business success.
The happiest life-changers are guided by their own inner
compass, even when the wind changes.
2. Give yourself time.
Clients sometimes call to say, "I moved six months ago and I
don't know anybody!" Or, "I started my new business and
still choke on the words, 'self-employed.'"
Researchers find most newcomers need at least two years to
feel settled in a new home. Getting used to the
"self-employed" identity can take three to five years.
Before you move, and during the early stages, practice
saying, "I am a..." Ideally, wait to move until you feel
comfortable and proud. If you continue to choke on the
words, maybe it's time to reconsider your goal.
Some people never get comfortable saying, "I am a writer,"
or, "I live in New York." Others just need more time.
3. Go slow when you're new.
This recommendation is probably most important to your
success.
You'll be invited to join professional organizations, clubs
and neighborhood groups. Say no! Go to meetings as a guest -
at least five or more times. See if you feel comfortable
after the first encounters.
People are almost always friendly with strangers. You're a
novelty! But after a few meetings, you'll be treated
differently. You may find people warm up after awhile. Or
conversely they may reveal they have different values and
approaches to friendship.
Once, right after moving to a new city, I joined a group
that seemed professionally useful and also friendly. Later I
learned that most meetings were held in a place that's very
difficult for me to reach. Because I missed so many
meetings, my membership was a waste of time and money.
One client volunteered at her new Humane Society. She had
loved her work for a similar group in another city. To her
dismay, the new group held very different values about
adoption and "who would make a great dog owner." She
resigned after three months and felt awkward when she ran
into members of the organization around town.
4. Make time for something meaningful.
Go back to why you moved or changed careers. What were you
hoping to achieve? Are you following your own promises?
Let's say you moved to a city because you wanted to be able
to attend symphony concerts or football games. Are you
following through? Or are you too busy to enjoy what brought
you here in the first place?
Or you changed careers to have more time with family. Are
you working through dinner, although you no longer need to
put in face time?
Why make a change if you end up where you started -
overworked and frustrated?
5. Have a confidante on call.
Inevitably, you'll have a Day of Frustration. Most likely
you'll find yourself in a place where you absolutely,
positively need to keep quiet. You probably didn't get much
sleep the night before. You feel like sharing your feelings
with whoever's around.
Get out your phone and dial a number you chose ahead of
time: a trusted friend, a family member, even a consultant
or coach. When you're new, it's important to project an
image of "Everything is wonderful," no matter what. After a
few months (or years), you can begin to join the chorus of
local feelings, like everybody else.
Article Based on Cathy Goodwin's Relocation Guide
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is a published author, speaker,
and career/business consultant to midlife professionals
who want to win the First Inning of their Second Career.
Download a Fr*e Report: Why most career change fails
(and how you can write your own success story).
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